


Black Orpheus

by PeachyJaemin



Series: Nomin Jazz Song Fics [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Jaemin's depressed, M/M, Song fic, i can't really tag much bc i don't wanna spoil anything so might just wanna read it, i had my irl friend read this in class one day and she cried, so fair warning you might cry, uh this is pure angst im so sorry, writing this made me sad why do i hurt my son like this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 19:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15892926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachyJaemin/pseuds/PeachyJaemin
Summary: "A day in the lifeOf a foolA sad and a longLonely day"





	Black Orpheus

**Author's Note:**

> This is part 2 of my nomin jazz song fics series and it's definitely the saddest of them all but I hope you all enjoy anyway <3 A really good vocal version of this song is Livia Blanc's cover of it, she doesn't sing it in English but it's still just as beautiul

_A day in the life of a fool_

   Jaemin couldn't help but to think of himself as an idiot, a fool. He was a fool for not letting go. He was a fool for refusing to accept the fact that the one he once loved was gone. He was a fool for trying to twist the situation in his own mind, for trying to make himself believe that he was being held in his arms when wrapped up in his blankets.

_A sad and a long lonely day_

   The only word that could describe Jaemin's life at this point was  _lonely_. He had been completely distancing himself from everyone he knew, Donghyuck and Renjun would check up on him every couple weeks to make sure he was okay, to make sure he was still  _alive_. But other than that, he hadn't contacted any of his friends in months. He didn't even know how long it had been since Jeno had left his life.

 

_I walk the avenue, hoping to run into_

_The very sight of you, coming my way_

   As he walked down the street he couldn't help but to  _hope_ that maybe  _just maybe_ he would see Jeno walking down that same street. No matter how many times he was told Jeno would never come back he couldn't help but to just  _hope,_ hope that one day he would be able to see him once more. For that, he was a fool, a sad and lonely fool.

_I stop just in front of our door_

_But you're never there anymore_

   He couldn't help but stare at his door, hesitating to turn the handle to walk inside. Every second that passed made his mental state fall more and more. He couldn't help but feel empty as he stared at the spot on the street where Jeno's car would once be parked everyday when he returned home.

_So back to my room_

_And here in the gloom_

   He felt his heart ache even more when he stepped into his once shared apartment, Jeno no longer there to welcome him home and hold him tightly and kiss him sweetly. All he got was an empty apartment with almost no traces left to show that Jeno once lived there.

   Jaemin decided he would skip dinner, the sadness he felt making him feel too sick to his stomach to eat anything. He knew it was unhealthy, and he knew both Jeno and his friends who were still there wouldn't want him to do that to himself, but it had gotten to the point where he didn't care what happened to himself anymore. He would go through his days like a zombie; go to work, walk home, and go straight to his room without eating anything.

   He could barely live in his own home anymore, little memories of Jeno scattered everywhere around the apartment. At the table where they would eat dinner together every night, in the kitchen where they would nearly burn the apartment down trying to cook. Or the couch, where they could sit for hours, Jaemin wrapped up in Jeno's warm embrace as they shared sweet words and gentle kisses. Or the bed, where Jaemin would wake up each morning being held by the one he loves most, he would wake up to Jeno pressing soft kisses all over his face, causing him to giggle and whine at him to stop.

   When Jeno first left Jaemin could still smell his shampoo so clearly on the pillow, but with each passing day it faded more and more and Jaemin's longing to have him back grew stronger and stronger. It was starting to feel like everything about Jeno was slowly but surely disappearing out of Jaemin's life and it was the worst pain he had ever felt.

   So he made his way back to his room and changed out of his work clothes, into his sleep clothes; a pair of briefs and one of Jeno's t-shirts that he had managed to hold on to, one of the few things he owned that still had that faint smell of coconut and vanilla. He curled up in his queen sized bed, which also still had that lingering scent on the comforter and pillows.

   It had been exactly two months since Jeno had left him; two months since Jeno got into that fatal car accident that took his life, and Jaemin couldn't help but sob into the blankets as he recalled his memories with Jeno, and no matter how much his friends told him it would hurt less if he just let go he  _couldn't._ And with each passing day and each fading memory he it just hurt more and more and Jaemin didn't think he would ever be able to let go of him.

_I cry, tears of goodbye_

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave comments, they really make my day uwu <3


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